As managing director of the Church History Department and general editor of the Joseph Smith Papers and Saints volumes, Matthew J. Grow was used to writing about Saints of the past—people he only knew through old scraps of paper. Then came a surprising request: Shortly after experiencing a major health crisis in August 2023, President Jeffrey R. Holland asked Matthew to write his biography.
Though the men didn’t know each other well at the time, the next two years would give Matthew profound insight into the Apostle’s life. His new book, Jeffrey R. Holland: A Witness for Christ, can now do the same for us.
Matthew recently joined the All In podcast to discuss this unique biographical journey. During the episode, he shared a tender story from his last interview with President Holland, which took place just two weeks before the beloved Apostle passed away.
The Final Interview
During the research process, Matthew came across an entry from President Holland’s journal that referenced a pivotal spiritual experience. In their final interview, Matthew asked President Holland to elaborate on what he remembered about the moment.
President Holland shared that, soon after being called as a member of the Seventy, he felt overwhelmed, depressed, and inadequate. He felt worried about how he would provide for his family and serve others in this new capacity.
Seeking divine counsel and assurance, then-Elder Holland went to the presidency of the Seventy’s office in the Salt Lake Temple to pray. In the biography, Matthew expounds on what happened next. The following tender mercy involved Elder Marion D. Hanks, who served as an enduring spiritual mentor and mission president to a young Jeff Holland during his time in England:
“As he finished praying, Jeff felt no peace. Standing to leave, he saw a set of scriptures sitting on a table and felt prompted to open to a page marked by a small sheet of paper. His eyes settled on the Lord’s promises in the final verses of Doctrine and Covenants 70, including that He would provide ‘for food and for raiment; for an inheritance; for houses and for lands, in whatsoever circumstances I, the Lord, shall place them.’ The verse spoke directly to Jeff’s anxieties about his family’s finances. He realized, too, that the paper serving as a bookmark had been taken from Elder Marion D. Hanks’s notebook, as it was covered in his mission president’s handwriting. How many more ways, he asked himself, could God possibly tell him He was mindful of his situation?1
…
“The spiritual experience was a powerful testimony to the new General Authority of God’s love for him, speaking directly to his concerns and offering much-needed comfort. ‘I just sat there and wept that such a dramatic answer could come in response to my prayer and my struggle and my discouragement and my confusion,’ he reflected. ‘It was peace. It was hope. It was all the things I’d prayed for.’2
After hearing about this experience, there was still one piece of the puzzle Matthew was missing: When did it happen? The journal entry didn’t make that clear.
He asked President Holland, who responded, “Matt, go get my scriptures, my big set of scriptures.”
Together, they opened to the passage of scripture a younger President Holland had read in the temple that day. In the margin, there was a note: “April 18, 1989, Salt Lake Temple.”
Thirty-six years later, the simple marking remained—a record of an answered prayer that continued to bless the General Authority throughout his Church service. As Matthew later wrote in the biography, “The experience did not end Jeff’s struggles, but it offered a powerful reminder of God’s love that he could look back to on dark days.”
President Holland’s Urgency for the Work
From memories like this experience in the Salt Lake Temple to his surprising mission evaluation with Gordon B. Hinckley, President Holland wanted people to find perspective and courage in his authentic story—including the difficult and faith-testing moments.
“We wanted to tell an honest story,” Matthew said. “President Holland wanted people to be able to see his life, take lessons from it, and you can’t do that unless you’re telling a real story.”
Anyone who has listened to one of President Holland’s conference talks or speeches at Brigham Young University can tell his devotion to the gospel of Jesus Christ was sincere. And after his health scare in 2023, his motivation to share the gospel became even more apparent.
“He just felt a real sense of urgency for the work, that he needed to come and testify more, that he needed to come and consecrate more, that he needed to come and teach more, and witness of Jesus Christ more,” Matthew said. “The work of an Apostle is to be a special witness of the name of Jesus Christ in all the world, and I think that he just felt that more urgently. ... He wanted to do everything he could to testify.”
Listen to Matthew’s full episode of the All In podcast to learn more about the process of capturing President Holland’s life story.
More articles for you:
▶ Youth choir brings Young Women names to life in joyful new song
▶ God used someone else’s miracle to show me I was in exactly the right place
▶ Feel unqualified to teach at church? 3 simple ways to lead discussions with more confidence
Discover Jeffrey R. Holland’s story
Notes
1. JRH, interview, Dec. 12, 2025; JRH to MDH, Apr. 12, 1991.
2. JRH, interview, Dec. 12, 2025.
