For almost all of my adult life, I’ve felt like a circus performer frantically spinning plates on poles, assuming I’d be less stressed if only I were better at balancing it all.
But in my quest to find greater balance, I stumbled upon a quote from Elder David A. Bednar that stopped me in my plate-spinning tracks. He said, “There’s no such thing as balance. It doesn’t exist.”
The Truth About Multitasking
As humans, we like to think that we’re good at multitasking. But when it comes to activities that require our attention, science has shown that our brains aren’t physically capable of focusing on more than one task at a time.
What we think of as multitasking is actually just our brains frequently switching focus back and forth between tasks—the mental equivalent of running between spinning plates. Such continuous task switching actually leads to more errors and slower productivity overall.
Long before the word “neurology” existed, Christ taught this same principle. In His Sermon on the Mount, He said, “No man can serve two masters” (Matthew 6:24).
I used to see that verse only as a statement about having to choose between righteousness and sin. But in the context of the verses that follow, I’ve recognized that not being able to serve two masters encompasses more than just the idea of righteousness versus sin. It also illustrates that we aren’t capable of worrying about future needs while also focusing on our present tasks.
Our attention can only serve one idea at a time.
Permission to Neglect
After teaching that the balance we so desperately long for doesn’t actually exist, Elder Bednar went on to say:
“We can only do one thing in a given moment. So in the moment that I’m attending to my family, I’m neglecting church and employment and maybe even myself. When I’m exercising, I’m neglecting some things. And we can drive ourselves crazy if in every moment we’re worried about all the things that we’re not doing. We never get anything done then that really matters.”
Normally, we think of neglect as something negative that we should avoid doing, but Elder Bednar’s use of the word made it seem unavoidable and even morally neutral. I did some digging and learned that at its roots, neglect simply means “not to pick up or select.”
Once I realized that neglect wasn’t inherently bad, I saw my spinning plates in a different light. Instead of stressing about some of my life’s plates crashing to the ground, I realized I could take them off their poles, set them down gently, and choose not to pick them back up for a while. Maybe even forever.
And not only is there nothing wrong with that; it’s actually what we’ve been counseled to do.
President Dallin H. Oaks taught, “The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. … We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best.”
Which Plates Should I Set Down?
Counseling with God is the only way to know with confidence which of your plates don’t need to be spinning and when it’s time to pick up a plate you might have previously set down. It’s the only way to organize your life in “wisdom and in order,” as King Benjamin counseled (Mosiah 4:26–27).
It can be tempting to think that we wouldn’t have to let go of some priorities if we were stronger, more organized, or better focused. But setting down plates we once had spinning isn’t a sign of weakness; it takes spiritual strength to seek the Spirit’s guidance and lay aside good things.
Satan loves to point out all the good things we aren’t doing, but God would have us focus on the better things we are doing. I love President Russell M. Nelson’s advice on this topic: “We all need to remember: men are that they might have joy—not guilt trips!”
What to Seek Instead of Balance
The truth is that my quest for a balanced life was never about the balance. Rather, it was about what I thought the balance would bring me—more peace and a greater sense of fulfillment. It turns out that the old adage is true, though: Less really is more.
Sister Patricia T. Holland wisely said: “As I look back at my life, and if I could live any part of it over again, I would do one thing differently—very differently: simplify! It seems to me that everything is better when it is simplified.”
So now, instead of seeking to balance everything that matters, I remind myself to focus only on that which matters most. As Elder M. Russell Ballard said, “It is in that simplicity that you will find … peace, joy, and happiness.”
More articles for you:
▶ A simple way to have more meaningful daily prayers
▶ Pres. Christofferson’s recipe for a balanced life
▶ 12 Dad-approved gifts for Father’s Day
